


Eyes On Me

by artificialash (ashke)



Category: EXO (Band)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Roommates/Housemates, Fluff, Friends to Lovers, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-05-02
Updated: 2017-05-02
Packaged: 2018-10-26 19:45:15
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 7,323
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10793499
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ashke/pseuds/artificialash
Summary: Everyone in Zitao's life thinks he should be dating Jongdae, his friend and roommate of several years. Everyone except Zitao, of course. At least, that's what he always thought.





	Eyes On Me

**Author's Note:**

> This was originally for the 2017 TaoBei fest, but the mods completely disappeared so I'm posting this for Tao's bday.  
> The song lyrics are from Faye Wong's "Eyes On Me", because I'm a huge nerd. 
> 
> (Prompt #046)

The shutter noises from the camera, the bright lights, the instructions being called out are all background elements, something Zitao has gotten used to and can tune out yet still do his job perfectly. They’ve been at this all day and all he can think about is his bed and some warm food in his stomach at this point. Another set of instructions and poses has Zitao trying to remember if Jongdae works at the lounge tonight and if he cooked dinner. The next pose has him recalling that Jongdae said he’ll be home when Zitao rushed out of the door this morning. Anticipation settles in his gut despite his attempts to focus on his job.

When the photographer finally calls it a night, Zitao sags with relief. His previous poise and grace is forgotten for stalking over to his bag, so he can grab his phone and call Jongdae. It’s ten at night, but Zitao is starving and even if Jongdae didn’t cook dinner, he could cook up some ramen for him real quick. Three rings before a groggy “hello?” and Zitao almost feels bad for waking him up, but right now his hunger is overriding his sense of guilt.

“Did you cook anything?” Zitao makes sure to put as much pout into his voice as possible, knows that Jongdae is weak against it even if they’ve been friends for seven years.

“Taozi?” Jongdae barely sounds coherent, it takes him a minute to process Zitao’s questions. “Ah, yeah. There’s pizza. You done? Home?” Zitao hears a few more unintelligible grumbles before Jongdae repeats the question with a little more clarity. “Coming home?”

Zitao tries not to grin at how cute sleepy Jongdae sounds. “Yeah, I’ll be there in twenty.”

“‘Kay. Be careful.” The soft hum in his voice lets Zitao know that he’s falling back asleep, so Zitao hangs up without saying anything else. 

The other model waves goodbye when Zitao looks up, her ear attached to her own phone, and Zitao waves back before stuffing his phone back in his bag and slinging the strap over his shoulder. He’s not even going to bother taking off his makeup until he has food in his stomach, so he bids the rest of the crew and the photographer goodbye and leaves the studio with images of pizza floating around in his mind. 

Luckily he got a good parking spot this morning, so he doesn’t have to walk far to get to his car. A little red Sonata he had acquired two years ago when he was finally picking up enough modelling gigs to afford his own transportation. He can’t explain the happiness he felt when he realized he would never have to ride public transportation again. He’s pats it affectionately before unlocking the door and sliding in, tossing his bag into the passenger seat.

It’s late on a Tuesday night, so the drive home is practically clear of traffic. Much to Zitao’s relief, because he can barely focus on anything besides getting home, eating, and then sleeping for the next ten hours. 

The door is unlocked when he finally gets to the apartment. Jongdae must have been awake enough to get up and unlock it for him, knowing how tired Zitao is. Zitao would go smother him in thanks, but he makes a beeline for the kitchen instead. Food first, friends second. He only takes enough time to microwave two slices so they’re a little warm before scarfing them down with a glass of water as he leans against the counter and sighs in relief. Thankfully he has no model gig tomorrow or else the makeup artist would complain about his face being bloated. Even if he did, Zitao doesn’t regret eating something other than finger food. 

Placing his glass in the sink, Zitao shuffles his way out of the kitchen and to the living room, spotting a human shaped lump on the couch. Jongdae didn’t even go back to his room to sleep on his bed and Zitao smiles softly at the sight. 

Leaning down, Zitao pokes at Jongdae’s cheekbones and softly whispers, “Jongdae. Jongdae. Wake up.”

He can hear the whine in Jongdae’s throat as he rouses enough to open one eye. “Taozi? Home?”

“Yeah. I’m home. You should go sleep in your bed now.” Zitao tries to pull back to give Jongdae enough room to sit up, but Jongdae has other plans and pulls Zitao down onto the couch with him. Zitao almost shouts at the sudden movement but it changes into a grunt as he tries to move so he’s not crushing Jongdae. Their couch isn’t exactly big enough for the both of them to lay down on comfortably.

“Cuddle. Sleep.” Jongdae’s voice is muffled against Zitao’s chest, where he’s half splayed after a little maneuvering. 

It’s hard to deny the request when Zitao is usually the one begging for cuddles and crawling his way into Jongdae’s bed. With a sigh, he starts to relax his body and close his eyes, because he’s exhausted and it won’t take much for him to fall asleep like this with Jongdae’s sleepy mumbling as background noise.

~

Zitao wakes up to a stiff neck, a slight chill, and the smell of eggs and bacon cooking. Jongdae is humming in the kitchen and Zitao realizes that they slept the whole night together on the couch. It takes another second for him to realize that he never got a chance to clean his face last night, too focused on food and then being coerced into sleeping to remember. The makeup from the photoshoot is still on his skin and there’s no doubt that his skin is paying the price right now. Groaning, he slides off the couch and makes his way to the bathroom to hurry up and clean it off before it does anymore damage.

Despite sleeping in it, his makeup is only a little smudged and if he was doing a photoshoot with a ‘morning after’ theme, he’d be killing it. However, he’s not doing a photoshoot and he feels like a mess, so he hurriedly scrubs his face clean and hopes that his skin doesn’t break out too bad later. He takes a minute to observe his reflection, noting that despite the bare face he’s still very attractive. Some would call him narcissistic or conceited, but he sees nothing wrong with acknowledging or loving his bare face’s muted attractiveness. If he didn’t find himself at least a little attractive, he wouldn’t survive long in the modeling business. 

Once he’s done preening - as Jongdae would call it - he shuffles his way to the kitchen to fill his stomach with food before he has to shower and change for his other job. Jongdae is already sitting down at the table with a plate in front of him, sipping on a cup of coffee as he plays on his phone. 

“Morning. Thanks for the food.” Zitao mumbles as he grabs a plate for himself and slides into the seat across from Jongdae.

“Morning. Sorry about last night. I’m sure that wasn’t comfortable for you. I was just really tired and not thinking straight.” Jongdae looks sheepish, pushing his eggs around on his plate.

Zitao shoves a piece of bacon in his mouth and tries to reassure Jongdae around it. “S’okay, I’m fine.”

Jongdae grimaces and shakes his head at the sight, chuckling a little before taking a bite of his own food. They sit in comfortable silence while they eat. Zitao has never been one to talk a lot when he’s eating.

It’s not until they’re washing dishes together that Jongdae speaks again, handing Zitao a plate to dry. “Do you work today?” 

“Yeah.” Zitao dries the plate before putting it up and waiting patiently for the next one. “Why?”

“Modeling or thrift store?” Jongdae hands him another plate. “I wanted to see if you could make it to the lounge tonight. I’m gonna be singing my new song, wanted you to hear the finished product.”

Zitao grins. Jongdae has been working on this song for going on three months and he’s only let Zitao hear bits and pieces of it. “I don’t get off until seven, what time are you gonna be on?”

“Scheduled for nine.” Jongdae grins back at him before going back to washing the plate in his hands. “So you’ll be there?”

“Wouldn’t miss it for the world.” Zitao is still grinning as he continues to dry the plates Jongdae hands him. The thrift store he works at part-time is only fifteen minutes away from their apartment and the lounge Jongdae sings at is twenty minutes away. So it’s plenty of time for Zitao to get home, change clothes, and make it on time to listen to Jongdae sing.

Usually he tries his hardest to go to all of Jongdae’s gigs, but sometimes he has to miss out due to photoshoots or travelling. When he does have to miss them, he always asks Minseok, their mutual friend and the main bartender at the lounge, to record them so that he can watch it later. Jongdae’s talent and presence on stage has always enthralled Zitao. It’s the reason they’re even friends. 

The first time Zitao had ever seen Jongdae was on stage singing at the choral performance at their college that Zitao had only attended because Junmyeon was there. He was absolutely breathtaking and when Zitao went backstage to greet Junmyeon, he excitedly asked who Jongdae was and Junmyeon ended up introducing them. They first started hanging out with Junmyeon as a bridge, but it only took a few more months for them to start meeting outside of their circle of friends. After two years, all it took was for Zitao to whine about needing to find a new place to stay. Jongdae just shrugged and suggested becoming roommates. 

Somehow they still managed to not get on each other’s nerves too bad. Of course, it’s not perfect. Jongdae complains about how Zitao doesn’t know how to work the washing machine and Zitao complains when Jongdae practices singing the mornings Zitao gets home late. Most times, though, they’re living together peacefully. 

Once they’re done with the dishes, Zitao heads to the shower to get ready for his shift at noon. He hooks his phone up to the dock, selecting his normal shower playlist before turning on the water and getting undressed. 

Zitao hums along to the first song while he waits for the water to get warm enough. They initially had only one dock in the apartment and it was kept in the living room for when they had company or when they’re just lying around and didn’t want tv shows as background noise. It didn’t take them long to invest in another one, because they figured out that they both like to sing in the shower. Zitao is no Jongdae, but he does have a good voice and ever since he was a kid he would sing while bathing. It’s an old habit that he doesn’t see going away anytime soon, if ever.

The last song during his shower is a song that only he has. One that Jongdae had wrote, sang, and recorded for him. He sings quietly along, not wanting to sing over Jongdae’s voice. When Jongdae first heard him play the song during a shower, he had complained. Something about it being embarrassing and that Zitao was supposed to only listen to it with headphones in. It didn’t deter Zitao though, it was his song after all. A soft three minute song that never failed to make Zitao feel warm and happy. Jongdae had gave it to him a year after they became roommates. He was still getting used to writing his own music and he was almost hesitant to give it to Zitao, doubting his own skills. The look on his face, when Zitao told him he loved it, after listening to it several times in a row, is something Zitao can still picture perfectly.

When the song ends, Zitao finally turns off the water and dries himself off. Towel wrapped around his hips, he’s still humming Jongdae’s song as he walks to his room to start getting dressed.

“It’s been four years and you’re still listening to that song.” 

Jongdae is leaning against the doorframe and Zitao totally did _not_ yelp. “Oh my god, Jongdae.” He finishes buttoning his pants before glaring. “You scared the shit out of me.” 

“I’ve literally been standing here since you left the bathroom.” Jongdae’s clearly amused by the reaction.

“Creep.” Zitao frowns, picking up his phone off his bed and squeezing past Jongdae. “Anyway, it’s _my_ song. Even if you wrote me a new song, I’d still listen to that one.”

Zitao knows Jongdae is following him to the door, probably with his arms crossed and frowning despite the happy twinkle in his eyes. He doesn’t have to look to be right, he just knows.

“Want me to write you a new song, Taozi?” That mischievous lilt is back and Zitao knows by now not to rise up to the bait.

So instead, he bends down and slips on his shoes. “Do whatever you want. I’ll see you tonight. Bye!” And he’s out the door before Jongdae can respond.

~

The thrift store is a little hole in the wall. It’s nothing too special but it pays and it was Zitao’s job before he started modeling. Sehun and him applied around the same time their freshman year and the owner barely ever changed the schedule so it didn’t take much for them to become best friends.

Well, they used to be, because the first thing Sehun says when Zitao walks through the door is “What did your boyfriend do this time?” If Zitao had a boyfriend and Sehun didn’t have a grin on his face, this would be considered a valid question. However, that’s not the case and, as far Zitao is concerned, Sehun is a terrible friend.

“Fuck off.” Zitao shuffles his way behind the front counter and signs in at the register. “And no, _Jongdae_ was just teasing me before I left.” 

Sehun’s grin widens. “Well that’s not hard to do.”

Zitao slaps at Sehun, who manages to sidestep it. “When are you going to stop calling him my boyfriend? It’s been seven years and nothing has changed.”

“Never, because eventually you’ll be boyfriends and then I’ll be correct.” Sehun says it so matter of factly that if Zitao wasn’t a party in this he would’ve believed him.

“Me and Jongdae aren’t like that. Have never been like that. I don’t know why you’re so adamant about it.” Zitao scoots past and makes his way to the clothing racks to organize and make sure everything has a price tag. 

Sehun, naturally, follows him. There’s no customers, so there’s nothing to distract him from teasing Zitao. “I don’t know why you can’t just face the music and realize you two have been dating for almost seven years.”

“How is that even possible? Jongdae had a girlfriend two years ago and a boyfriend a little bit after I moved in.” Zitao frowns, taking a shirt off the skirt rack and holding onto it as he continues to search for more misplaced clothes. 

“And they both lasted like two weeks, Zitao. He wrote you that song shortly after him and his boyfriend broke up.” He can hear the exasperation in Sehun’s voice. This is a subject that they’ve been over plenty of times over the years.

“I think you’re making a big deal out of nothing. The song has nothing to do with that.” By now, Zitao has an armful of clothing and passes them to Sehun so that he can grab more. “Anyway, Jongdae has a gig tonight, do you want to come?”

“Can’t. Junmyeon made dinner reservations and then we’re going to the midnight release of that new Star Wars movie.”

Zitao looks back to see Sehun staring off dreamily and snorts. “How long have you two been together? You still act like a smitten underclassman.”

“As long as you and Jongdae.” Sehun is grinning again and Zitao just turns back to his task, suppressing the groan that he wants to let out. He’s had his fill of teasing today.

For a Wednesday, they end up being pretty busy. On one hand, it’s a good thing because it gives Sehun less opportunities to be nosy. On the other hand, Zitao is late closing up the shop and he tries not to hurry through all of the closing procedures, not wanting to get on Mr. Park’s bad side.

It’s already eight when he gets to the apartment and he hurries to slip into something nice. He settles for grabbing the first thing he sees in his closet, a plain black button up and his nicest black pants. He styles his hair up, taking enough time to put on a little makeup. He isn’t really out to impress anyone, but it doesn’t hurt to look nice just in case. When he finally deems himself presentable, he grabs his keys, wallet, and phone and dashes out the door. 

He makes it to the lounge with ten minutes to spare and settles down on a stool by the bar, waving to Minseok when he looks in his direction. Jongdae is already in the back, probably rehearsing and making sure everything is right. 

“A little late, Zitao?” Minseok has moved closer, preparing a drink for a customer a couple of seats away and smirking at Zitao while he’s doing it. 

“Work, customers were taking longer to clear out. Can I get my usual?” Zitao’s heartbeat is thrumming in his chest, the anticipation for this new song building up as it gets closer to nine. He wants something to distract him for a little bit. Minseok nods and quickly gives him a glass of whisky on the rocks before moving on to help other customers.

Zitao is feeling warm from the alcohol by the time the crowd gets quiet and the lights dim so that the only thing illuminated is the stage. Jongdae steps out, looking absolutely beautiful in a full black suit, and walks up to the mic with his head bowed. 

It feels like every person in the building is holding their breath as they wait for the music to start. When it finally does, Jongdae slowly looks up and starts to sing.

_Whenever I sang my songs,_  
On the stage,  
On my own.  
Whenever I said my words,  
wishing they would be heard.  
I saw you smiling at me,  
Was it real or just my fantasy?  
You'd always be there in the corner, of this tiny little bar. 

Zitao has to will himself to breathe. Jongdae’s voice ringing clearly over the hushed crowd. The song is more than what Zitao expected and he feels like Jongdae is staring straight into his soul. He ends up looking away, trying to get that weird feeling out of his chest, because there’s no way Jongdae would be looking at him. He’s in the very back of the lounge and he knows from Jongdae’s previous whining that Jongdae can barely see past the stage lights.

Once the song is over, everyone stands up and applauds. Zitao belatedly does the same, still a little stunned by the song. He watches Jongdae bow before walking off the stage, the smile on his face clear as day. 

“That’s Jongdae for you.” Minseok’s voice next to him makes him almost jump off his stool. Minseok chuckles at the movement. “You okay, Taozi? You look a little flustered.”

“You just startled me.” Zitao glares before going back to search the crowd for Jongdae.

Minseok’s voice is still close, if not closer as he whispers only loud enough to be heard over the crowd. “If you two hadn’t been roommates for so long, I’d swear that song was for you.”

Zitao ignores him, knowing that he’s being teased yet again today. Minseok must have walked away to make more drinks, because Zitao is left alone until Jongdae finally shows up in front of him with the biggest grin on his face.

“What’d you think, Taozi? Like it?” Jongdae’s eyes are sparkling and it’s so clear that he’s pleased with himself. 

Zitao tries to stifle his own grin and shrugs. “It was okay.” Jongdae pouts and pokes him hard in the side, making him squirm and yelp out in defeat. “Okay, okay! It was great. Amazing. Beautiful.”

Jongdae is back to grinning even as he pokes Zitao one last time with a muttered, “Brat.”

Jongdae ends up sitting next to Zitao for the rest of the night, letting Zitao rest his head against his shoulder as he talks to Minseok. Zitao is too tired to really contribute to the conversation, not to mention the fact that he’s using all his energy to not think about that weird feeling he got while Jongdae was singing. 

By the end of the night, curled up around Jongdae because he doesn’t want to sleep alone, Zitao chalks the feeling up to his mind overthinking things after the constant teasing from earlier in the day.

It’s not until a few weeks later, when Jongdae is humming as he cooks, that Zitao thinks to ask about the inspiration for the song. Jongdae hasn’t been dating anyone lately, as far as Zitao knows, and the song was fairly romantic. 

“Hey...”

Jongdae stops humming and looks over at Zitao questioningly. “Yeah?”

“What was the inspiration for your new song? I meant to ask that night, but it slipped my mind. Are you seeing someone without me knowing?” Zitao waggles his eyebrows suggestively, earning a laugh from Jongdae.

Jongdae turns back to the stove and shrugs his shoulders. “No real inspiration. It just came to me, so I wrote it. And you know you would be one of the first people to know if I was seeing someone.” 

Zitao hums in agreement and lets the subject drop, his curiosity easily appeased. It doesn’t really matter to Zitao, because it gave him another song of Jongdae’s to listen to while he showers. That feeling he had gotten that night at the lounge never came back and Zitao forgot about it in favor of other pressing things, like modeling and getting those limited edition shoes he had seen a week ago. 

Sehun, on the other hand, doesn’t let it go after Zitao lets him finally listen to the new song the next day at work. There’s no customers and it’s been weeks since Jongdae sang it, so Zitao didn’t see any harm in it.

“Dude, Zitao, this song is about you. There’s no way this isn’t about you.” 

Zitao scoffs, turning the song off before it ends, because Sehun is ridiculous and doesn’t deserve to hear the rest of it. “Jongdae said it himself, he had no inspiration for this. Plus, don’t you think that he would, I don’t know, act weird afterwards?”

Sehun narrows his eyes at him, a deep frown on his face, before rolling his eyes and throwing his arms up in defeat. “You’re both idiots.”

“How are we idiots?”

Sehun sighs and looks at him very seriously. “Zitao, how many people have you dated since you met Jongdae?” 

“None, you know that. It’s because I’m not really interested in dating.” Zitao frowns.

“Don’t you think that it’s because you’ve already found everything you would need in a relationship through Jongdae?” Sehun raises his eyebrows, like he’s saying the most obvious thing in the world.

Zitao’s frown deepens, not liking how much his pulse starts to speed up at the thought or the fact that it kind of makes sense. “Me and Jongdae are just friends and have always been just friends.” 

Sehun purses his lips before turning away to go help a customer. The subject isn’t brought up again for the rest of the night, but it stays in the back of Zitao’s mind and festers the more he thinks about it.

When he finally gets home that night, instead of crawling into Jongdae’s bed to cuddle with his personal human heater, he begrudgingly shuffles to his own room and curls up under his blankets in a weak attempt to prove Sehun wrong.

~

“Okay, one last outfit and then we’ll call it a night.” The photographer is sifting through the pictures that he just took as Zitao shuffles off to change out of the suit he’s currently sweating in.

It’s Friday (well, technically Saturday morning) and Zitao is, frankly, done with this whole ordeal. He’s hungry, thirsty, and tired. He just wants to go home and rest his head down on Jongdae’s lap so that he can be petted until he falls asleep. Thankfully the last outfit isn’t too stuffy and he stretches as he waits for the rest of the crew to get done preparing for these last few shots. 

He stays still long enough for his makeup to be touched up before he walks back out into the lights and begins the arduous task of posing for this photographer. It takes another hour, making it a nice two in the morning, before the photographer is finally satisfied and calls it a night. Zitao quickly strips out of the clothes from the photoshoot and slips into his sweats and t-shirt. 

One of the makeup artists pops their head into the dressing room. “Hey, heads up, it’s pouring outside.” 

Zitao groans. “Thanks.” He hadn’t thought to bring a jacket or an umbrella with him. It’s way too late for him to be waiting it out. He puts his shoes on, grabs his bag, and makes his way to the entrance of the building. The makeup artist wasn’t lying. It’s raining hard and he knows, without a doubt, that he’s going to get absolutely drenched as soon as he leaves the safety of the building.

As a probably useless tactic, Zitao grabs his keys out of his bag and clutches them in his hand so that he’s not trying to search for them out in this. He takes one last big breath before pushing out the door and running to his car. 

He wasn’t as lucky as he usually is with his parking spot and he actually has to run a little bit to get to it. When he does, he hurriedly unlocks it and dives into the driver’s seat, slamming the door behind him. 

He’s drenched and cold and he’s dreading the drive, but at least he’s almost done with the day. He’s not even hungry anymore, he just wants to change into something dry and go to bed. The thought of curling up in Jongdae’s bed and using Jongdae as his personal heater is the only thing running through his mind as he slowly but surely makes his way home.

It’s still raining, though not as heavily, when he gets home. He dashes into the apartment complex and makes his way up to his floor, thinking about adding a hot shower to the list of things he’s going to do when he gets through the door.

Those thoughts come to a halt when he comes up to the door and see a curled up Jongdae in front of it. His hair looks like it’s dried, but his clothes are obviously still soaked, he’s missing his right shoe and Zitao can see that his sock is soaked and caked in mud. “What the...Jongdae??”

Jongdae startles and looks up at Zitao, uncurling from his spot on the floor and standing up. “Hey...I tried calling, but I guess you were busy and then my phone died.”

Zitao hadn’t taken the time to check his phone the last couple of hours of the photoshoot, he had figured that Jongdae would’ve already been in bed. “Sorry, I didn’t even see it. Anyway, what happened? Why are you soaked and not inside?”

“My last appointment got cancelled and I’m having writer’s block with this new song so I left early. I was walking home and then it started pouring, so I stepped inside that convenience store down the road. But as I was standing there, waiting for the rain to let up a little, I saw this little old lady trying to chase after her dog because she had lost her grip on the leash.” Jongdae pauses and rubs at his face a little, which Zitao notes is also muddy. “So, of course, I run out to help her. Let me tell you, that dog is a demon and I chased it for a good thirty minutes.” Jongdae gesture down at his shoeless foot. “I lost my shoe. I also managed to lose my keys and I’m muddy because I fell in a puddle when I finally caught the little bastard. I helped the lady home, but it wasn’t until I got here that I realized my keys were missing. By then it was really pouring so I just decided to wait it out. I guess I fell asleep at some point.” 

Jongdae looks absolutely miserable, standing there in front of him. Maybe it’s from the constant teasing the past couple of days or maybe it’s just finally clicking in his brain, but Zitao can’t help the sudden swell of affection or the words that slip out of his mouth as he watches Jongdae continue talking. 

“I love you.”

“And then I was going-” Jongdae lets the sentence trail off, the story forgotten, as Zitao watches the realization spread across Jongdae’s face. Zitao has said those three little words to him so many times before, but somehow they both know that it means something different this time. “...What?”

Zitao feels like his heart is in his throat right now, the vibration of his heartbeat almost drowning out any other sounds. This might completely ruin their friendship. He might lose Jongdae and the simple thought of it makes him want to cry, but he knows he can’t take it back. He knows that he doesn’t want to. “I love you.”

The look on Jongdae’s face is strange and it’s the first time Zitao can’t tell what he’s thinking. After a beat of silence, Jongdae finally speaks. “What do you mean? Like friends or like boyfriends?”

“Like-” Zitao watches as Jongdae tenses, like he’s preparing for the answer to hurt and it’s so confusing but Zitao can’t back down now. “Like...boyfriends.”

“Why?” Jongdae shakes his head and holds up a hand before Zitao can even open his mouth to respond. “I mean, why now? I’m a mess, right now. I mean-” he gestures to his muddy clothes and face, “- and I lost my keys and my shoe…” Jongdae trails off again with a sigh and Zitao wants to hug him.

“I don’t know? I just-” He rubs at his own face now, mimicking Jongdae’s actions from earlier. Zitao doesn’t know what to say or more like he doesn’t know what’s the right thing to say. 

“Tell me, Zitao.” Jongdae seems just as frustrated and, if Zitao is reading him right, scared.

“I can’t tell you exactly why now, because I don’t know. It’s just like something clicked in my head, okay? I don’t know. I just know that I really, really fucking like you, Jongdae.” Zitao swallows down the bile that’s inching up his throat. He’s never been so nervous in his life. “And...I think I might’ve liked you for a long time now and didn’t realize it.”

One. Two. Three minutes pass in complete silence. Zitao belatedly realizes that this is not a conversation they should be having in the hallway of their apartment complex. Definitely not at what must be around three in the morning. 

Jongdae hasn’t said a word and he doesn’t look like he’s about to say anything. Zitao can’t stand here and wait to be rejected in front of the door to his own apartment. He wants to, _at least_ , be inside so he can hide in his room if need be. He digs his keys out from his pocket, trying to ignore how badly his hands are shaking, and goes to unlock the front door when Jongdae grabs ahold of his wrist.

“Wait.”

Zitao tries to yank his wrist away and make another attempt at unlocking the door. “Jongdae, I want to be inside when you reject me.”

Zitao is mid-turn of the key when Jongdae grabs for his wrist again and says firmly, “Wait, Zitao. I love you too, okay? So wait.”

He knows that his chest is rising and falling fast, knows it looks like he just ran a marathon or he’s about to have one his epic cries that Jongdae usually holds him through. He can’t even look at Jongdae right now, still frozen with his hand on the key. “Wh-what?”

“I love you too. And-” Jongdae takes a deep breath, “-I think I’m the same as you, only just now realizing it. ” 

“You? Love me?” A mixture of emotions is running through him. Happiness. Disbelief. Excitement. His loses his grip on his keys, Jongdae’s grasp still tight around his wrist as his arm dangles between them. 

“Of course. Who wouldn’t love you?” Jongdae moves so that his soft smile is in Zitao’s line of sight. 

“True.” Zitao grins when Jongdae whines and shoves at him. The familiar bickering eases the tension, easy smiles on both of their faces and Zitao can’t help but stare at absolutely beautiful Jongdae looks right now. “Hey, Jongdae…”

“Yeah?” Jongdae’s smile fades away and Zitao almost regrets interrupting the moment, but he wants to, no, _needs_ to do this. 

“Can I kiss you?” Zitao’s heartbeat is right back at where it was when he had confessed. 

Jongdae’s mischievous grin slowly slides into place. “I don’t know, can you?”

Zitao whines and turns away to finally unlock the door all the way. They might’ve confessed their feelings for each other, but he’s not gonna stand here to be teased. “We haven’t even been boyfriends for an hour and you’re already teasing me.”

“We’re boyfriends now?”

Zitao turns to glare at Jongdae as they both step through the door. The tinkling laugh Jongdae lets out makes him narrow his eyes even more before stomping off to his bedroom. “You can sleep by yourself tonight!”

“C’mon, Zitao.” The soft pad of footsteps follow him all the way to his bedroom door. “You know that would hurt you more than me.”

Zitao ignores Jongdae as he strips out of his wet clothes and slides into bed, vowing to take a shower in the morning. He isn’t expecting his mattress to dip behind him and turns to give Jongdae a death glare. “Get off my bed! You’re dir-”

Jongdae cuts him off quickly with a kiss, warm lips pressed against his, while cold fingers slide along his jaw to hold him still. Zitao can feel that same affection from earlier swell up and he sighs against Jongdae’s lips, giving up any pretense of being upset. He doesn’t know why it took him this long to realize how much he absolutely adored Jongdae and how much he wanted to kiss him. 

Jongdae pulls away first, lips spit slick and bright red, and chuckles when Zitao tries to chase after him. “Later, Taozi. I need to shower though and we both should get some sleep.”

“Lets shower together then.” Zitao smiles innocently, scooting his way out of his bed to follow Jongdae to their shared bathroom. 

Jongdae turns around to narrow his eyes at Zitao. “No funny business. Just a shower.”

Zitao holds up his pinkie finger. “Promise.”

It’s not until Zitao is pressing up behind him under the fall of hot water that Jongdae starts to protest. “Zitao, I said no funny business.”

Zitao grins against Jongdae’s neck where he had just been kissing along. “I know. I think this is quite serious.” The grin is short lived after Jongdae pokes him in the ribs though. “Ow! Okay, okay, I’ll stop.”

Jongdae turns to face him and pats his cheek affectionately before pushing his loofa into Zitao’s hands. “Good Taozi. Now scrub my back so we can get out of here and sleep.” 

Zitao willingly obeys and soon after is rewarded with being the little spoon as they cuddle in his bed. 

Jongdae’s soft kisses against his neck and shoulder have him smiling. Zitao shivers when Jongdae’s breath caresses his skin. “Goodnight, Taozi.”

“Goodnight, Jongdae. I love you.” It’s bold, but Zitao feels like it should be reiterated until the new meaning feels normal for them. 

He can feel the smile on Jongdae’s lips before a soft “I love you too” reaches his ears and they’re both smiling like idiots. Zitao almost doesn’t want to fall asleep, but a yawn has him closing his eyes and letting sleep claim him.

~

“So let me get this gay, you guys are dating now and Jongdae admitted that you inspired his latest song?” Sehun is leaning against the counter, his expression looks like a cross between disbelief and wanting to say ‘I told you so’.

“Yeah, pretty much? We, uh, talked some more the next day and yeah.” Zitao shrugs, not really knowing what else needs to be said about the subject. At first, he was dreading coming back to the thrift store simply because he knew Sehun would tease him. But mostly Sehun has just been in shock that he had been right about them this whole time. “Anyway, I’m leaving. Jongdae has a gig in an hour so I need to go home and change.”

Rolling his eyes, Sehun waves him off. “Tell your boyfriend I said hi.” Sehun frowns for a second. “Weird, now I can’t teasingly call Jongdae your boyfriend because he actually is your boyfriend.”

“Bye, Hunnie!” Zitao laughs at the disgruntled look on Sehun’s face before leaving the thrift store and making his way back to his apartment. 

Jongdae, as per usual, is backstage by the time Zitao gets to the lounge. Minseok smirks when he spots him and Zitao tries not to imagine what Jongdae has said about the whole situation. Minseok must have told the other bartender Zitao’s usual order because it appears next to his arm when he sits down at the bar. Either way, Zitao is grateful because Jongdae is singing that song again tonight and he needs to mentally prepare himself for how absolutely cheesy he’s about to feel. 

He ends up finishing the drink before Jongdae gets on stage and waves off the offer of another one as he watches his boyfriend step on stage. _His boyfriend_. He thought the jump in status would be weird for them, but it just feels the same. The only thing different is the added bonus of kissing and other physical affection that Zitao hadn’t really cared for until now. 

Jongdae’s voice interrupts his train of thought and Zitao inhales sharply when he realizes that Jongdae is staring right at him as he sings. There’s no way to deny it this time, he can _feel_ the intensity of the stare. Zitao almost wishes he hadn’t opted out of that second drink, his throat feels parched as he watches Jongdae sing to him.

_So let me come to you_  
Close as I want to be  
Close enough for me  
To feel your heart beating fast  
And stay there as I whisper  
How I love your peaceful eyes on me  
Did you ever know  
That I had mine on you? 

When Jongdae finishes the song and goes backstage, Zitao turns in his seat and promptly asks the bartender nearest him for some water. Minseok is grinning at him from the other end of the bar and he sticks out his tongue in childish retaliation. He doesn’t understand why everyone he knows is always teasing him.

The light brush of fingers against his back make him jump and turn to see who is touching him only to see that familiar mischievous grin and twinkling eyes. “Hey, how did I do?”

Zitao leans in and gives him a tender kiss instead of replying, smiling as he feels Jongdae’s grip on his shirt tighten. Jongdae starts to crowd him in against the bar when a voice from behind it speaks up, breaking the moment. 

“I knew you two would get together eventually.” Minseok’s tinkling laughter fades away and they watch him walk off to help a customer.

Zitao groans in exasperation and rests his forehead on Jongdae’s shoulder. “How come everyone but us knew we were going to get together?”

Zitao can feel Jongdae’s laughter more than hear it and he smacks weakly at his stomach in retaliation. “It’s not funny. I’m being tortured.”

“If it makes you feel any better, Baekhyun hasn’t let me hear the end of it either. Nor Junmyeon. Baekhyun periodically sends me laughing stickers and ‘i told you so’ messages.” Jongdae presses a kiss behind his ear, because Zitao is still using his shoulder as a pillow. 

“I guess this is our fate now.” Zitao sighs in defeat. The band is playing some slow music and Jongdae’s fingers are tapping on his spine to the beat. Zitao begins to really relax, his day was long and Jongdae’s calming presence has him melting into the embrace and wanting to fall asleep.

“Hey, Taozi.” Jongdae begins to kiss that spot behind his ear again and along his jaw.

“Hmm?” Zitao’s eyes are closed and everything else is background noise. He’s just soaking in the attention Jongdae is providing and barely trying to keep himself awake.

Jongdae’s hands slide down to his knees and then slowly back up to rest on his thighs. Zitao almost ignores the movement until Jongdae starts squeezing, his mouth now hot against Zitao’s ear. “Let’s go home.”

Zitao feels heat pool in his stomach as he nods and stands up, letting Jongdae take his hand and lead him out of the lounge. Jongdae drives them home, one hand on the steering wheel and the other running up and down Zitao’s thigh. 

Zitao just focuses on his breathing and the fact that not only is he hard now but his heart _hurts_ from how much love he is feeling for Jongdae. It’s such a weird combination and Zitao isn’t used to it, but he loves it. Loves this. Loves Jongdae. 

He tells Jongdae as much, whines it, when Jongdae pushes him into one of their mattresses - Zitao wasn’t paying attention, too distracted by Jongdae’s hands and mouth - and grinds his hips down into Zitao’s. 

There’s no finesse, that’s something they can leave for another day. It’s all just flying clothes, grabby hands, and hot mouths as they learn each other in this new way that they haven’t done before. This is the only thing that’s different about them and it’s not something that makes them better. Jongdae’s mouth on him, staring at him like he’s the world’s finest piece of art, is just a nice bonus. 

Zitao can’t help but whimper at all this overwhelming emotion, sensation, _love_ exploding in his chest. He tries to swallow it down but instead Jongdae swallows it for him. It’s not until they’re both tangled together, trying to catch their breath, that Jongdae reaches up and wipes away the tears caught at the edge of Zitao’s eyes. 

They don’t say anything, don’t need to. They know how to read each other, like open books, and despite Jongdae not returning those ‘I love yous’, Zitao knows he was saying it the whole time. With every touch and kiss, Zitao had felt it. He sees it in Jongdae’s eyes as he takes Zitao’s hand in his and raises it up to his lips to kiss each fingertip. 

He might hate the teasing, but Zitao has never felt so absolutely full, overflowing with happiness and love, and he wouldn’t trade that for anything in the world. He wouldn’t trade Jongdae for anything or anyone in the world.

**Author's Note:**

> I hope you enjoyed this, even though it's not much.  
> If you see any mistakes, please don't hesitate to point them out.  
> As always, comments and kudos are deeply appreciated.  
> Thank you so much for reading!
> 
> P.S.: If you're the prompter and happen to actually find this, I hope you liked it and that it was even an ounce of what you wanted.


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